The "GAG" Is Afoot! - - - NOT

I did not begin my love affair with Doyle's "Consulting Detective" with the short stories and novellas. I first became aquainted with Holmes (& Watson) by watching the old black and white Universal films on late night weekend "mystery theaters" on a b&w Zenith portable TV. I watched these with my Dad. I don't think I've any better television memories (except maybe watching Charlie Chan with my Dad)

Later on, much later really, in my college days, my best friend "the Spoiler" gave me a set (two hardbound volumes) of the Complete Sherlock Holmes to safeguard for him as he embarked on a cross country journey of self-discovery (kind of like when Green Lantern/Hal Jordan took off to "find America" as penned by Denny O'Neil)

It was in that fiction that my mind's eye drew Holmes as he really is!!! That is, TO MY MIND's EYE!!! This is my blog, so I make up the rules as to my own likes and preferences :) (smiley emoticon means I'm not mad)

The annotated Holmes' volumes usually contained the famous artwork of Sidney Paget who drew some 350 black and white illustrations of Holmes & company for THE STRAND MAGAZINE. As these were drawn during the life-time of author/creator Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and as they met with his full approval... this IS WHAT HOLMES looks like. Sorry, Santa Claus is an old fat, red-cheeked white guy, not an Indonesian... some things "just are!" Shaft is a black guy not an Icelandic girl!

Above is a great example of Paget's rendition of Sherlock Holmes.

Above we see the American stage actor William Gillette in his famous ground-breaking portrayal of Holmes for the theater! He appropriately looks like a real-live version of Paget's creations. I like his visual aesthetic very much.

Above is the one-and-only Basil Rathbone who starred in all of those famous HOLMES movies from the 1940's that I "cut my teeth on." The movies were a mixed bag to be sure (I love 'em all nonetheless) but Rathbone simply was a spectacular HOLMES! His look was perfect. And, Rathbone was a good actor, only limited by the screenplays and the production team's (really probably the studio) unwillingness to do all the stories as "period" pieces. For almost twenty years, this rogue evolent thought RATHBONE would always be the definitive HOLMES.

Above is one of my favorite genre/horror actors, Peter Cushing. He also made a fine Sherlock. His acting was impeccable and his look authentic and very reassuring to the canon, and to Doyle's creation. Kudos!

And then "lightning struck!" On a Thursday night in 1984, American television debuted a 13 episode series of Sherlock Holmes stories produced by the UK's Granda Television starring Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes.

My word.... it was magic; it was alchemy; it was so HOLMESIAN as to forever end all discussion as to WHO WAS HOLMES. Rathbone "played" a brilliant Holmes, but BRETT WAS HOLMES! It was as if a camera had been placed back in London at 221b Baker Street; it was as if we were inside Doyle's brain. Brett was so much Holmes it was almost unsettling spooky... but fun... exhilarating...and iconic in every sense of the word.

I'm not saying more Holmes movies and television series can't be done or shouldn't be done. Good writing and good acting will always invite new endeavors to bring new life to a character "for the ages" (Sherlock Holmes is such a character who belongs to the collective zeitgeist of 19th and 20th century America and to all English speaking countries).

But ladies and gentlemen.... the "game is not afoot" any longer. It's rather a gag reflex that is "afoot," as in "gag me with a dead maggot stick." Downey is a good actor. I've liked him in many roles. Ritchie is a competent director. Action films with explosions and gun-fire, and fist-fights, and double entendres, and sexual humor, and adult themes, and humor, are all appropriate in their place. Why not create a new character in a new setting and have some fun with a fresh and innovative idea?? Huh? But why take the precious memories of an established tradition and jerk it all around like some waxen nose to mishapen it and make it something it's not, nor was it meant to be. Yeah, I know, $$$. After all, it is show business.

Robert Downey Jr. comes off as a smirking chimp; a smarmy "look how clever I am" smart-ass. Stan Lee did not write Holmes into our hearts and minds and souls.... Arthur Conan Doyle did. Tony Stark transplanted to 1898 is pathetic and just plain wrong.

Robert Downey Jr. IS NOT SHERLOCK HOLMES....

and never will be... and I don't give a fig how much money these abominations make. They may be good movies. They are not Sherlock Holmes movies.

Case Closed!

rogue evolent